Two more sleeps!

Then I'm done.

The major difference between fourth year and first year was illustrated to me yesterday. I had an exam yesterday. It snowed yesterday. Instead of feeling like I didn't have the time or energy to concentrate on anything but my exam, I went out and built a rockin good snowman with the boo.

Its all relative, you know? That half hour crawling around in the snow probably did far more for my state of mind than a half hour studying the 12 links of dependent origination. Im glad that I can have enough perspective about where on the importance scale things lie now. Just in time to graduate, heh. Thats not to say that I wasnt fully prepared for the exam, of course - just that I knew for a fact that I could take a bit of time and it wouldnt make much of a difference, and more importantly that I could enjoy that time while I was having it because I knew that school was school, and school needs to be put in perspective.

I started getting all anxietal about the exam at about 4 pm in the afternoon yesterday, but then I realized that it actually wasnt the exam I was feeling wound up about at all - it was all the stuff that goes along with the exam, all the embellishment and meaning that I add to it - ie "If I dont do well on the exam, then I dont get a good mark, if I dont get a good mark, I dont get into grad school, if I dont get into grad school, I wont be able to get a job in these tough economic times, blah blah blah blah blah... " and then I realized that it wasnt the exam itself I was being freaked out about, it was my future. And the thing with the future is that it just hasnt happened yet, so no use being upset about it.

Now, I'm gonna go back and attack the second half of my environmental bio course. Whee!

As a post script, after the exam I texted my partner and said to him "its weird not feeling all stressed out about stuff." He reassured me that he had faith in my ability to find something. :P