Death and Facebook

I found out that an old friend was shot to death by the OPP about 3 weeks ago, way up north in Pickle Lake. I found out about this the same way I have found out about many deaths of people that I knew/know - over facebook.

It is fascinating, really.

Peter said to me a couple of weeks ago, considering between the two of us, there have been about a half dozen deaths of people we knew once upon a time - shouldnt this be happening in our sixties? Not thirties? But the reality is, is that even though I don't speak to the majority of the people on my friend list, they are all there for a reason - that is, I know them. Or knew them. A small minority I only knew online, but most of them in person, at least to the extent of being friendly. Now, considering that this is the first generation that has the ability to stay in touch with friends from every part of their lives (I have people on my list I was friends with in childhood, haven't seen in person since we were both 6 years old, and was out of touch with until last year), it stands to reason that we hear - through the grapevine, through friends of friends, through whatever means, when someone dies. Had it not been for facebook, I wouldnt have known about Brad Will, and probably would have only heard about Levi much later on, in passing. So in a way, these social networking sites bring us closer to death.

Is this a good thing? Honestly? I think yes. Death is as much a part of life as, well, birth is. And yet we willfully ignore, sanitize and hush it up in this culture - we try to keep it as far away from us as possible. As a consequence, people dont know how to react, dont know if they are justified in their grief, dont observe important rituals that are able to allow us to cope with it. We are terrified of death.

The only way, of course, to get rid of a fear, is to face it. Facebook, in a weird way, helps us get accustomed to the idea of death and tragedy. Of course, it also spreads a lot of joy around too - I have lost track of the amount of people that I have found out are pregnant over facebook, heh. I have friends all over the world, so reading the obits doesnt do it (though it is a past time I highly recommend, for reasons detailed here and as a reminder to enjoy life, as it is very very short.)