*sigh* Somedays it's hard not to lose faith.

Well, at least I can do this well.

I wrote what I thought was a kickass midterm for my seminar course, "Women, Gender and Work". I figured A-, because they can't give out that great grades, and I knew my arguments weren't as fantastic as they could have been. That said, I felt like I nailed it, so much so that I was confident enough to leave a 1/2 hour early.

Got it back today. B. I know that seems like a good mark, but it was very disappointing. I don't understand how you can lose 25% of your mark for three run on sentences and one erroneous abbreviation of the word "position." In the marker's own words: Good essay! Your ideas were very easy to follow and well supported."

Ok yes. niggling shite that I shouldn't worry about, but still makes me mad. The prof himself came up to me and said: "this should be higher." I stared at him blankly and said, "yes, it should be higher." As in: why the hell don't you change it? I don't get upset with marks very often, but this one felt very unfair.

I guess in the quantitative courses I'm taking, I feel like I'm able to accept the fact that, when it comes right down to it, I didn't know the answer. I can see the motivation behind giving hard exams, because it pushes you to study harder and have a greater understanding of the course material. But when you do your best (as I try always to do) and it's not good enough to nail something you feel you have a very fundamental understanding of.... well, it cuts deeper, I suppose.

Ah well. Must run and catch a train now.

Later...

And let this be a lesson to me... Don't forget to take my effexor in January. :) I was really, unambigously upset, moreso than I have been since I've come to UT over that midterm. I was crying on the train on the way home... and I was super thirsty, too... and had a headache, and a dry throat... wait a sec? Did I take my drugs this morning? nope... HA. Gives me some perspective and a reason why I'm crying over a freakin B.... lol